"You are already Good-enough"
Did you even see the movie "Dangerous minds"? It goes like this:
An ex-marine sergeant (Michelle Pfeiffer) takes work at a tough school in New York. Predictably she gets given the 'basement class'. Not only is it held in the basement, but it contains all the misfit kids. Those that all the other teachers can't or won't teach.
She starts off using classic 'teacher tactics' - walks in and boldly writes her name on the board. Big deal! She is met by hoots of derision and worse. The day goes pear-shaped from there. Disillusioned, she goes home and thinks about giving up.
After much soul searching she hits on an innovative strategy:
To the astonishment of the class, she returns the next day, and after quietening them down explains her strategy. "From now on you are all already 'A' students - all you have to do is keep it." She announces. The kids are flummoxed at first but as time goes by and they see it work, they begin to 'morph' from ugly ducklings into beautiful swans.
Here is how her theory works:
Previously the kids believed themselves to be misfits - this was of course reinforced by the attitudes of the teachers and by osmosis, the other kids. They were trapped in an accepted mindset that they were no good and would never amount to anything. The resultant feelings of frustration, resentment, hopelessness and powerlessness served to maintain the status quo and act like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because the gap between where they perceived themselves to be and an 'A' status was so big, they gave up and accepted the identity that 'society' had tagged them with - misfits, gangsters, thugs, useless, etc.
By elevating them all to the status of 'A' students they had a chance. Some chose to take it immediately, others resisted but later yielded to the new constructive 'peer pressure'.
This was an old movie but the relevance holds true today. One of the problems which keeps so many of us stuck in lives of quiet desperation is poor self image. Self esteem, self worth, self confidence issues plague our society at every level. It manifests in our schools, in our social surroundings, in our places of work. It traps us in feelings of worthlessness and 'not-good-enoughness' which adversely affects every sphere of our lives causing poor performance, lack, scarcity mentalities, under-achievement, toxic relationships, fear and a reluctance to take ownership of our lives.
A new-born baby - all new and wrinkled and helpless, whose only contribution to society is noise, sleepless nights, messy feeding habits and disgustingly full nappies is given unconditional acceptance and love by everybody around it - even by the men - surreptitiously perhaps.
Paradoxically, now twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years later, when we have so much more to offer society by way of knowledge, skills, experiences and wisdom, we value ourselves less because we perceive ourselves to be such failures.
Why?
From this perception of 'not-good-enoughness' we expend our finite energy on bluffing the world and hiding from ourselves. Pouring our creativity, our resourcefulness, our talent through a mesh of lies and counter lies into a sinkhole of fearful mediocrity. Why?
What if you were already 'good-enough'?
TRY THIS:
Take some this week to explore your self-image:
~ On a scale of 1 to 10 where would you calibrate your self worth?
~ What evidence do you have to support this belief?
~ Is it real or is it your perception?
~ What would your life be like if you were already good-enough?
~ What do you need to change your perception of yourself?
