“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name… And they’re always glad you came.”
Theme song from ‘Cheers’
“Norm!” every-body shouts out!
Every time Norm enters the bar, he is welcomed by the same resounding chorus. Everybody in the pub is genuinely happy to see him!
He is nothing special however, an average guy in an average bar doing an average job. His secret is consistency.
He comes in at the same time each evening, sits on the same barstool at the same corner of the bar and always orders the same beer.
He is reliable, his advice is terrible, but he is there to give it.
What does “consistent Norm” represent?
He is an expression of our need for acceptance, for connection, an expression of the desire to belong to something bigger than ourselves, a community to which we can contribute where we can find meaning in our own lives.
We humans are gregarious.
Our self importance assures us that we are independent and self reliant, that we can go it alone, yet, like it or not, we do need the comfort of the herd. We naturally gravitate to what we know and like and there we interact with others like us.
We form clubs, peer groups, lodges, societies, blogs, committees and gangs. We need each other more than we will often admit. We need to feel a connection with ourselves, with others and with something greater than us. We need to give and receive love, comfort and care. Without it, we get depressed, pine away and possibly die!
Now ask yourself;
- Am I a friend or a rescuer?
- Am I motivated by empathy or compassion?
- Am I helping others to prove to myself that I am OK – if I can help them, then I must be OK… right?
- Do I help because it makes me feel better, and do I let others help me so they can feel better?
How often does accepting help make us feel weak, inadequate and inferior?
Society has taught us to be brave, to be strong, but in so doing it has disconnected us from the flow of life.
Friendship is about mutual support. It is about giving and receiving. To have a friend, we need to be a friend. Go out into your world and enjoy the people in your life!